Hear the Stories of Girls who have been at Lifehouse

Testimony 1

It was halfway through my Second year of teaching that I started to become unstuck. It was at this stage that life became very difficult for me as I was forced to come to terms with years of childhood sexual abuse and torture ……………….My rational mind tells me that I couldn’t have done anything to cease the abuse, with endless threats on loved ones lives being made to me. I now realise I was a frightened, fragile and vulnerable child…….. I was powerless.  For so many years of my life I locked away the painful memories that I had. Choosing to forget them, choosing not to deal with them. It is now that I realise that was a protective mechanism I put in place in order to continue functioning. This mechanism allowed me to enjoy other parts of my childhood without being tormented and traumatised………………..It was when I was older that I was forced to face the shocking and real reality of how I was violated as a child. For me this proved to be a difficult task and at the onset I never imagined it would be this hard. The journey I was about to embark on was set to be the biggest challenge I had ever faced, I was naïve to think otherwise……………….One thing that bemused me greatly was how much professional help and care I would need to get my life back on track. Furthermore, it was imperative that I had 24-hour support when I was dealing with my tangled web of emotions that often left me feeling suicidal, hopeless and lost……………….. Lifehouse was different to the other help I had sought. I felt an immediate sense of love, empathy and commitment to my healing journey. Most importantly I felt understood. ……………………. Lifehouse helped me to realise I didn’t have to pretend everything was hunky dory, that I was able to grieve over my past, that I didn’t deserve what I went through and that I was allowed to be angry………………………. Understandably, it was here at Lifehouse that my main issues came to the surface, and I felt I had the resources, the assistance and the environment in which I could begin to deal with my past hardships……………….. Lifehouse has also helped me to acknowledge that I am a valued, loved and worthy person that did not deserve to suffer such horrendous abuse. This has helped me markedly in my journey.  I can now say my self-concept and image has changed for the better and I can see that my life is worth living………………………. I am by no means cured of the past. I will never be ok with what has happened to me. I can however, quiet confidently say that I have learnt to deal with the horrifying flash backs and memories in a more constructive way than in the past………………. When the option of coming to Lifehouse arose I was reluctant. It would be such a huge lifestyle change for me. I felt like I would be going backwards not working and earning money, depending on my family for financial support, not doing anything of value or importance. I am now able to see that my time spent in lifehouse has been the biggest investment I could ever make in my life. I have endured ten years of sexual abuse and torture, ten years in denial and disassociation, nine months hard work at Lifehouse and a lifetime of hope, opportunity and growth now lies ahead of me………….an investment certainly worth making.

Testimony 2

I was 11 years old when I first made myself throw up after a meal……… I didn’t understand why I did it at the time. I just felt like I was in control of something and that I could change myself somehow……………. My mother believing me and taking action to prevent further abuse was certainly encouraging towards my healing, however the damage was done and the struggles caused by the abuse continues today………………… Everything at school and at home seemed to overwhelm me and I felt very sad and alone. I developed bulimia over the next few years and by the time I was 16, I was making myself sick daily. I realised I had a problem and tried to stop many times only to fail and feel even worse about myself. It took another 5 years before I started to reach out for help………………..I was discouraged by doctor’s attitudes and by the limited treatment options available. I was so ashamed and embarrassed by myself and my compulsions……………………………..From the outside, I looked like a successful and happy young person. I studied hard, worked hard and began to party hard too. I couldn’t get myself to speak to my family about what was going on in fear of hurting them. I became so good at hiding it and lying about it that it became this deep dark part of me that no one knew existed……………………………………I lived a lie for so long that it became harder and harder to get help. I never allowed anyone to become close to me in fear that they would discover my shameful secret.  I suffered depression, anxiety, self harm and other related issues that came along with the shame and guilt of this disease. I was going further down a spiral and was afraid that I would eventually die this way. I was hopeless, scared and lonely…………………………………..When I spotted the ad in the paper for Lifehouse, it was like a prayer had been answered. I had hit rock bottom and was severely depressed……………………………. I was so happy when I heard that I could join the program, but that turned into anxiety and fear as I finally took the step to enter into the house. It was daunting and difficult, but it was the best decision I ever made and I am proud to say I’m here and working towards healing…………………….. My journey is still ongoing, but I’ve come a long way already…………………………………Since coming into Lifehouse, I have hope for my future. I am learning to love myself again and I know now that I can beat this and become the person that I am meant to be. P.S……..Since leaving Lifehouse, I have my life back. I’m free to focus on the things I want to do, like going to University and getting my degree, travelling, keeping fit and having fun with my friends. All of this was overshadowed by my past and my obsessions. Now I have found peace and I simply can’t thank Lifehouse enough.